Families & Taking Your Creative Business Seriously
Do you struggle to manage interruptions or get support from those who are close to you? That’s what we’re going to talk about today, how do we take care of our creative business and how will our families and friends take us seriously?
Please share this with other creatives because it's a very important message for people like you and me... Especially if you ever struggle to manage interruptions or get support with those close to you!
Hello, hello, hello! Stop, stop scrolling, stop. Turn on your sound. We've got a really, really, really special show for you today, okay? Very, very special. So, make sure, turn on your sound; I want you to be able to hear what's going on today, and please, please, please, I want you to share this out as well, so click the share button when you hear what this is about.
Today's show is a bit different, okay? So today marks the anniversary, it was three years since my mother passed away. And I want to do a show about your creative life, your creative business, and family and friends, and sometimes, there can be a bit of tension there, in terms of other people taking your business seriously. And I hear this from clients, I hear this, you know, I see it in comments all the time, in groups, you know, here on Facebook, and LinkedIn, where people are talking about, they get interruptions, people expect them to be available when they're actually working. You know, people are kind of like, oh yes, like you have this little hobby type thing. Whereas you're going, no, I am building a business, okay?
And so, I want to make sure that, you know, you've got some tips right now, and I want to share a very special story that I experienced, with my mother, okay? And this was actually quite a turning point in our relationship. So, what actually happened was, and please, I'm willing to share your own stories as well, in the comments, okay? So whether this is live, and I could respond to you, or this is happening afterwards, I will come back, and say hello, as well, and, you know, comment on your experience. So, if you have questions or you want to share your experiences, pop them in the comments. So remember, share this out, this is a really important show that I want to get to as many creatives as possible, because it's an important message.
Okay, so, what happened was, I was on the phone with my mum. So, my parents lived in Ireland, where I grew up, and I live here in the UK, and I was on the phone with my mum, and she was talking about somebody who was following a particular career path, a slightly unusual career path, and she was saying, oh, isn't this great that they're getting to follow their passions? At which point, I became quite livid inside, and I was like, are you kidding me? Like, after everything that I, you know, kind of went through, when I was younger, you know, I just couldn't believe that she was saying this. Now, I agreed with her, okay, so it wasn't that I disagreed with her, I definitely agreed with her, but I was like, how come she's saying this about this other person, but when it was me, it was a different story? So, I want to give a bit of background here. Now, my mother, I'm the youngest of five children. So, you know, my mum and dad are quite a bit older than me, so you're talking a few generations. My mum is from a really big family, and you know, they'd grown up in some really poor times, as well, okay? Some very challenging times where there'd been really high unemployment, they, you know, they were in, you know, grew up in a small town, so, you know, not as many opportunities as there might be in other places, anyway. And so, you know, to her, and you know, mainly for my dad as well, security was just such, such a big thing, okay? And the most important thing was to be secure. So when I was growing up, you know, all she wanted from me was to get a job in a bank, or to become a nurse, okay? So, in her mind, those were things that were, would give me security, and allow me to have a successful and happy life, okay? In her mind, okay? That was the last thing that I wanted to do, because, for me, I wanted to be an actor. I'd always wanted to be a performer. I'd always wanted to be on stage or on screen. But this was not something that they took seriously at all. And I did do a course, you know, when I left school, but it wasn't the right kind of course. I was very badly advised, I kind of had to fight a bit with my mom and dad to be allowed to do it. And there was no path for me, there was no strategies, I wasn't introduced to people who were able to show me how to be successful, in this, in that way. So I kind of went off and did other things, and so it was only later in life that I came back to doing acting, and actually, you know, to taking it up professionally.
So, for those of you who don't know me, by the way, my name is Una Doyle, I'm a business coach for creatives, I'm an actor, and I'm also a daughter, a friend, a sister, a fiancée. You know, we all play multiple roles in life, don't we?
So, anyway, I was thinking back to those times when I had like, really struggled, and was, really had a passion for something, but had no, had no path to follow, and you know, was not given the right kind of advice. And even in, you know, when I had taken up the acting, and been doing it, and you know, bearing in mind, at the time that I was having this conversation with her, I think I might have done one commercial. I hadn't been on Coronation Street yet. I just had a couple of small, I was on a couple of times, in a small role, and I'm on Coronation Street. But I had been doing it, I had an agent, I had been taking proper professional classes, I'd done a lot of work to kind of get myself out there. You know, and it was, for me, I was taking it seriously, but they never asked me about it, they never asked how it was going. If I ever mentioned anything it just seemed to be dismissed.
And so, maybe you've had similar experiences, whether you're a performer or not. Maybe you've had this with a business, and people kind of going, well, why don't you get a real job? Or, maybe you're kind of going, well, I want more clients, or, I'm, you know, struggling to, you know, build the right team around me, and people might be going, what are you talking about? You know, you get to work from home, or you have your own office, or, you don't have a boss to answer to, what are you complaining about? You know, so, other people, they just don't necessarily understand what it's all about.
And so, I said to my mother, so coming back to this conversation, I said, I don't get this, you know, when I was young, when I was younger, and I wanted to pursue my acting, you know, I had no support from you. And, it was, and I was quite upset at that, and I'd got to the point in my relationship where, you know, I had a pretty good relationship with my parents by this time; I'd kind of gone through a lot of personal development, and got rid of a lot of emotional baggage. And that's how I was able to have this conversation in the first place, even though it was a bit upsetting. And so, I told her how I felt. And, she said, well she was really, kind of taken aback, and said, well, you know, because she was doing what she thought was best. And I knew that, I knew that, intellectually. You know, because people always do.
But do you know what the turning point was? And this is what I wanted to really share with you, is that, when I told her about my plans, when I told her about the fact that I could earn money as an actor, that it was a serious thing, that even like, just doing, you know, a commercial, I mean, okay, they pay a lot less than they used to do. You know, in years gone by, you used to get like five, 10, or maybe even £15,000 for a commercial, if it was a national commercial. Nowadays, it tends to be a lot less than that, you know, the marketplace has changed. But the fact that the marketplace has changed has also opened up all sorts of doors for people, and so, you know, I have lots of ideas for how I'm going to, you know, bring, my creativity and performance into my Creative Flow business, and things I can do for myself as an actor, in terms of self-producing. I've already done some of that. I've already, you know, written and directed, and made some short films. I have some ideas for a series, that could be a TV series, or a, you know, perhaps a web series. I could do crowd funding; there's so many different ways. And so, I was able to, with certainty and confidence, talk to my mother about the possibilities, and how this was a serious thing. And boom, it was the mention of the money, but I think also, the way I was talking about it, changed everything. And from that point on, you know, she did actually start asking me, oh, how is the acting going? You know, what have you been learning in class? Any opportunities?
You know, and so, I was just thinking about that in the run-up to today. And just thinking about the fact that if you, you know, when it comes to family and friends, because, you know, I think it's hard sometimes for family and friends to take people to be an expert in something, okay? Usually people respect advice, or things that they hear, when they pay for it, okay? So, you know, the stranger is always the expert. However, if you have got a solid plan, if you are certain and confident in how you feel about those plans, and in how you can communicate about those plans, then I'm sure that you can communicate that to the people around you, so that they take what you do seriously, and support you, instead of possibly hindering you. Even if their hindering you is, they think they're helping you, okay? And I think that's the only way, that you have to have that clarity, you know, there needs to be that certainty with it. So if you don't have that, please, please, please, work on that, okay? Make sure that you have that clarity, and certainty, and confidence, in the way that you talk about your creative endeavours, the way that you talk about your creative business, because, if you want to be successful, it's so much easier when you have the people around you supporting you instead of not taking it seriously, because it'll, you know, it's so disheartening when that happens.
And, yes, if you change your approach, you know, and it's also about setting boundaries as well. So, for those people who do have neighbours, or family, or friends, kind of just dropping in, if you work from home, or expecting you to be available at a moment's notice, then, when you have a structure to your time, and you're able to say to them: oh, well actually no, today is my admin day, and I must get these things done; or, today, I'm doing such and such; or, this morning I'm doing that; or, well no, I could only do that, because I have these appointments, so I could move this around. But, you know, you need to be treating it, if you don't take what you're doing seriously, then how can you expect anybody else to?
And one of the best ways to take this seriously is to have plans, to have structure built into what you're doing. Now I know, for people like you and me, you know, sometimes structure can be a bit of a scary thing; it certainly used to be for me. But, you know, the more that I go on, and for myself, for my own business and creative flow, for my own acting endeavours and creative endeavours, for the work that I do with clients, I am telling you, structure will set you free. Okay?
Let me know, you know, what are your thoughts about this? You know, have you had similar experiences? Do you agree? Please, hit the like button, or the love button, or whatever, to let me know that, you know, your thoughts on what I've said. And please, share this out with the people you know as well.
And I would like to take this opportunity as well, to say, you know, thank you to all the mothers and parents out there. You might not have always done things the way that we would have liked, but you know, we know you were doing what you thought was best, and if those two things aren't the same, it's up to us to communicate around that, and to help kind of get on the same page.
Okay, I'm going to wrap it up there. Oh, hang on, I've got a comment here. A very similar experience, years ago, I started a business. My mother didn't get it at all. I really had to take a stand, and be firm, for her to give me even basic support. Okay, well great, you know, well done on doing that. And I think that, you know, that perhaps you might agree that the more clear you can be, on, you know, what you're doing, why you're doing it, you know, the plans that you have for that, then the easier then that is going to be for the other person to understand. And you've got to be able to put yourself in their shoes, and that's why I kind of shared about, you know, the background my mother came from. I mean, you know, everybody worked so hard in her family, and she worked really hard, and she actually had quite an entrepreneurial spirit. You know, and that's something I think I inherited, you know, from her, and I'm very grateful for. So I think, let's all have an attitude of gratitude, and, also, let's put a stake in the ground, in terms of, what it is that we stand for, and how we're kind of moving forward on that, and make sure, you know, don't be afraid to ask for the support that you need, and to ask for the help that you need to be able to achieve your creative vision and your creative goals.
Alright, fantastic. I'm going to have to run. Got some other commitments going on. So this'll be setting my boundaries with you. However, pop your questions and your experiences in the comments below, and I will come back later and check on that; I'll get a little notification when that happens, so I'd love to hear your point of view on this as well. Okay, so Una Doyle, I'm the founder of CreativeFlow.tv, that's my website, if you want to go check anything out. I am also Una Love, that's my stage name, from an acting point of view. Yeah, so, same time next week. I do this show every Wednesday, at 4:30 GMT, so that's UK time. So I'd love for you to join me. So if you haven't liked the Creative Flow page yet, hit like, hit the button to make sure you get the notifications, and I will see you, same time next week. Have a fantastic week, everybody, bye.
About the Author
Una is a Business Coach & Strategist for Creative Services Providers (Design, Animation, Marketing/Digital Agencies, etc.). She helps them to stand out from the crowd confidently & profitably so they can attract high-level, 'Ready to Invest' clients, doing creative work that fills their hearts with pride - WITHOUT selling their soul or adding extra workload.